Let me give this disclaimer before I proceed. About 1/3 way through this blog you will be thinking, “this guy is insensitive, and needs help.” As I reflect on what transpired between my wife and I, I write to point out the foolishness of my mistakes, but (with the wife’s permission) set up the scene by pointing to a recent grocery store trip she made in which she made a minor mistake in one purchase. We have sense then sought forgiveness from each other and moved on ;)
***
I was horrified at what
I saw in my cupboards the other day. I
honestly could not believe that my wife would do such a horrific thing to
me. Maybe it was to get back at me for
something I did to her; maybe it was to save money. Either way, this purchase during her last
grocery store visit really took a toll on me.
My wife had the gall to
buy the single stuffed Oreos when she had clearly been instructed many months
before that the only Oreos we buy in the Harris house is the double stuffed
Oreos. In my mind, there is no reason to
eat Oreos if they are single stuffed because if I wanted to eat crackers, I
would buy crackers. The whole point to buying and enjoying Oreos is to enjoy
the fluffy filled cream on the inside that perfectly complements the chocolate
wafers on the outside which is only perfectly proportioned in the double
stuffed Oreo.
In a single stuffed
Oreo, the balance of sugary cream and wafers is all off. The ratio of the cookie to the cream in a
single stuffed is 3:1 (that is 3 part wafer to 1 part cream). The devastating effects results in losing the
flavor of the cream on the inside to the overwhelming taste of cookie on the
outside. On the contrary, the ratio of a
double stuffed Oreo is perfected at 1.734 part wafer to1 part cream.
Think about it for a
moment. Why do all the little kids take
their single stuffed Oreos, open them up, scrape off the cream and combine the
cream from multiple Oreos on to one set of wafers? Because, they get this principle all too well;
it’s like we are born with this instinct to know the perfect blend of cookie
with cream inside of an Oreo. This
strong preference which I developed as a kid, has carried well into my adult
life, only now, I am too lazy to the extra work, I’d rather just buy them from
the store pre-double stuffed.
But my wife must have skipped
that class in elementary school or is simply missing this vital instinct to the
survival of mankind. (or she was trying
to be wise with our money, get the most Oreos for the buck - you get an additional 8 Oreos per package
when you buy the single stuffed over the double stuffed.)
Regardless of her reason
for buying these inadequate cookies that barely deserve to carry the name Oreo,
I have a dilemma to work through. What
will I do? I guess I have a couple of choices. I could hold this over my wife’s head for the rest our
lives. Every time she makes a mistake, I
could tell her, “This is just like that time you were out to get me with the
Oreo incident.” This tactical approach
would result in a wedge being driven into our marriage and into my love for my
bride.
I could also put my love
for double stuffed Oreos over my love for my wife, and command her to return
the single stuffed Oreos, less she
becomes like the single stuffed Oreo, emphasis on single (read the disclaimer again).
Or, I could see how
ridiculous I am being, how I am putting the desires of my flesh (my taste buds)
over my desire to love my wife. I could
forgive her for the mistake she made, regardless of the reason, and humbly eat
the single stuffed Oreos with appreciation that she thought of me while at the
grocery store.
And if you are thinking
what I am thinking, I should ask for a serving of double stuffed forgiveness. I should seek forgiveness for such a mean
spirited attitude towards my wife, and for not loving her as I ought, as her
husband. I should seek her forgiveness
for not leading her as a husband ought to in the Lord, by grace and mercy, and
for demanding of my wife to do things for me that are absolutely absurd.
Seems like Colossians
3:12-14 speaks well to this. “12 Put on then, as
God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility,
meekness, and patience, 13 bearing
with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each
other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these
put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
But before I make the
walk of shame to my wife (better referred to as the walk of humility) I need to
get a glass of Whole Milk to wash down these wafers that have been lodged in my
throat since I started writing this…..….COME ON! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, ONLY
1% IN THE FRIDGE…UGH…here we go again.
