If you missed yesterday's post you can read it here to understand the context of this post.
http://www.midtownchurchfl.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-list.html
Matthew 28:16-20
Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. 17 And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. 18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Who is on your list? Who has God placed in your life that needs to hear a message of hope and grace? Maybe your list is short, or maybe it is long. Those of you with a long list find some value in the number of names on your list which motivates you to reach them. Those of you with a short list, maybe only one name, might have a harder time mobilizing yourself to the work God has called you to.
We read something like the above passage and feel as if we have to make disciples...plural (have a long list). Let me remind you that in the context of this verse, Jesus was not commanding each disciple to make disciples (plural), rather to make disciples collectively. More interesting than that, was the emotional state of the disciples during this command to go and make disciples? Verse 17 said some worshiped and some doubted. They were doubting their mission, their friend who called himself Jesus and God, and what to do next. At the core of their doubt was a lack of hope. Hope that their mission, what they gave their life up for (some of them gave everything to follow Jesus) would have no success Think about it. These men saw their leader get slaughtered by the very people they were being sent to. They knew they would be next if they were to take up his cause. Therefore how could they ever make a difference if they would just be killed off. Of course some doubted, I probably would have too. I'd be thinking that my old way of living was working just fine, risk free and comfortable, before Jesus came into my life.
Notice what Jesus didn't do. Jesus didn't try to fix their doubt, he didn't say, "YOU NEED TO HAVE FAITH before you go." Rather he ministered to them by saying, "Go...I will be with you. Take your doubt with you and work it out as you see me use you to change the eternities of people."
On your list you may have only one person, and possibly a person similar to Sally who is spiritually bankrupt, with no apparent desire to turn to Christ. In your mind you have sized her up and realized that she is a project, a big project. Maybe you have gone so far as to say, she is without hope. And maybe, just maybe, you are like me and you have some doubts that she would ever want to know Jesus.
The Sallies of this world need men and women who doubt to bring the message of hope. Why? Because they get to see you as raw as you come. They get to witness you, another human, struggling, but holding onto a Savior. They get a glimmer into your world as they see your doubts stir up tears, anger, bitterness, and they get a wonderful chance to see those emotions worked out in a relationship with Christ (by the way, the same emotions that I have and everyone else has). I have so many people tell me I wear my emotions on my sleeve (ugh...why do people have to call me out, that is is so frustrating...there I go again). So be it, why would I want to hide the ugly and only show the good. It causes people to think higher of me than they ought and naturally puts some relational space between me and them.
Sally doesn't want a person who is nicely groomed to hand her a spiritual track as if they have it all figured out. Sally wants to see someone who is in the trenches with her, someone who is honest with her and with themselves. When that happens, I believe people then allow you into their private lives because they begin to trust you.
Don't stress about your doubts. Hand them over to God and go. You will be presently surprised at what the Lord can do through your weaknesses.
BTW, changing your facebook status to read, "Why are there so many stupid drivers out there." Is not being real with your emotions. Rather, acknowledging your failures and shortcomings to others for them to see you vulnerable is much harder to do, but much more real. (I am one of those stupid drivers).
